Does This Look Like A Woman Who Got Naked, Finger Blasted Herself In Front Of Traffic And Then Jumped On Top Of A Lexus?

NYDN- Call it touch-and-go traffic. A naked Florida woman stopped traffic on a residential street when she masturbated in front of a couple’s car and then threw a tantrum on top of the vehicle, police said. Police responded to an intersection in Fairview Shores, on the northern outskirts of Orlando, Sunday night after reports of a naked woman walking in traffic, the Orlando Sentinel reported.  They found Amie Carter, 31, strutting in the street and wearing no clothes. She appeared to be “under of the influence (of) a heavy unknown substance” and “in an altered mental state,” according to a police report. Carter refused to be removed from the street and kicked her legs in the air when cops tried to subdue her.  Police later determined that Carter pleasured herself in front of a couple in a Lexus, then climbed on top of it, stomped on its hood and threw a cell phone at a car stopped behind it.  She caused about $1,500 in damage to the Lexus, WKMG reported.  She was arrested and charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs. 

Are you sitting down?  Because what I’m about to tell you will shock you.  I need to know that you’re mentally prepared for the information I’m about to jam into your brain.  Ready?  This lady is from Florida.  BOOM!  No way!  No fucking way you saw that coming!  I got you so good.  Call a cleaning crew because somebody needs to pick the brain matter outta your carpet.  Seriously though.  Is this even news in Florida anymore?  Is it news to us anymore that Florida has a person stripping naked and finger blasting herself in front of a bunch of people at a stoplight?  It’s hard to tell.  It’s like the chicken and the egg to me.  Is Florida crazy because it has the stereotype of being crazy or does it have the stereotype of being crazy because it actually is crazy?  I don’t have a great handle on the chicken/egg thing so that probably doesn’t make sense.  bottom line,  At least thus lady picked a Lexus to jump on top of and through a tantrum.  That shows she’s classy and likes nice cars.

PS- Would.

h/t tim sievers